Made 5
Five years ago was my first full day sober after my last drink the day before. I remember it was a Jack and Coke at the airport after landing on my trip to rehab. Man I was a mess! I don't really like to count days but this one is kind of a milestone, at least in my mind. I kind of made a deal with myself to make it five years and well here I am. At this point I have no desire to return to the dysfunctional, dismal mess that years of inebriation made of my life so I guess I'll try for a few more fives. Actually the thought of drinking again makes me ill.
I'd like to say life sober has been better than my wildest dreams but unfortunately that's not how it works. There's been family deaths and illnesses, my 31 year marriage is still a bit rocky but a work in process, and there has been plenty of drama involving my adult children. Getting sober didn't remove all the stress in my life. The good thing is that I am actually present to and able to look at and take on these issues logically instead of blurring it all out and making a bigger mess of things. My blood pressure, stomach and liver all have benefited also.
When I started this journey, I was lost. I went in and out of recovery groups, went to rehab and read all kinds of recovery literature. What I came to realize is it doesn't matter what method you use or if you even use a formal method. If you really have had enough, you'll quit pouring poison down your throat. Even when things get horrific and you know your pushing your luck, if deep down inside you don't want to quit, you'll find an excuse to drink. Most of us have all had lots of excuses, haven't we?
I drank for 37 years of my life and very heavily for most of those years. Getting sober is kind of like getting a new lease on life. I've still got a lot of catching up to do and not that much time to do it. I'd better get off my computer and get at it.
Have a great life!
Me