I am so tired this morning. My youngest likes having a good hour of watching TV before he has to start getting ready in the mornings but I'd been awake for a good 2/3 hours in the night and when the alarm went off it felt like I'd only been asleep 5 minutes.
Last night went well and I really enjoyed myself with the OH away. I don't know why I didn't have more sober nights alone before.
I watched Louis Theriouxs latest documentary about Herion addiction and then weirdly ended up watching a programme talking about mental health (Davina Mccalls series for those in the UK). She stated a fact that most mental health issues are showing by the age of 14 or something like that and mental health issues is young people is much higher than we know. As a child I was very shy and everything scared me. I remember a period of time where I felt sick every morning worrying about my day. Looking back now it's likely I had some kind of depression/anxiety and the chances are my drinking was a self medication for this. Having a child at 18 exacerbated everything and I drank heavily then to cope. I didn't know it wasn't normal to wake every morning feeling like life was just hard. They talked about feeling like you are treading water and that's how I've felt all my life. I wonder frequently why people put themselves through living it at all and completely relate to those who want to end it.
I'll be keeping a close eye on my children in this respect!