Ready to stay sober for life
Hi all just wanted to start posting again. I had an account here previously but don't know the details and can't access that email anymore. Anyway the circumstances of my life are that I am a binge drinking alcoholic. I have been fooling myself year after year after year about my problem. I can go awhile between drunks naturally and usually I can have just a few shots or beers or a couple glasses of wine with dinner, but I never know when the floodgates will open. Then I black out and my behavior is atrocious and unlike me to say the least.
I can't go on living like this any longer. I'm sick of being uncomfortable in my own skin. Sick of not being able to remember my awful behaviors and hiding from consequence. Sick of anxiety about everything especially about when my health is gonna fail.
I had some good stretches of sobriety in the past. Pretty close to a year once. Then stress and excuses hit. Never again! I am done for good. I don't care what happens I refuse to let booze cross my lips again. I refuse to let my mind play tricks on me and talk me into drinking any more.
My day 1 was yesterday, and I poured out my liquor cabinet and beers today. I hope to use this thread as a timeline and place to share my struggles and success.
It has taken me 20 years of drink and a lot of beat downs to get to this point. I have had some bad experiences before that caused me to clean up my act but once the smoke clears there I am drinking again.
Not happening this time I gotta dump it for good.