Thanks Ananda, I am taking this very personally and I am really worried about all of our friends. I'm actually a rather level-headed person in real life but this has knocked me for 6. I got so upset about it earlier that I went to a park during my lunch hour and phoned my husband. I never bother him with emotional stuff like this because a) he isn't an addict and b) he's a total blokey bloke brimming with down to earth common sense and I think he'll think me ridiculous to be this upset about our little thread imploding.
Anyway, he listened and he said that he could hear in my voice how important everyone here is to me. He also said that I should never feel guilty or ridiculous for caring about people. He then expressed concern that if I'm crying during my lunch hour because of a web site that's supposed to be providing me with support, maybe it's time to start looking for another web site.
The thing is, the relationships I have built with the nobenders are real and I feel utterly devastated thinking that I might never speak to those people again. I know you're right. I know we have to keep going and make it a nice place for them to return to. Is this part of recovery? This feeling of abandonment? Do we have to feel this and stay sober to get to the next stage of recovery? I have to say, this is the thing that has pushed me the closest back to drink. But there's no way that's happening. I want to be sober when they all come back. Thanks for being there Nands xxxx