Don't know what to say. A lot of honest truth there. I just wanted to leave my brand new car to someone who would appreciate it. No guilt intended. My neighbour has locked himself in his house today watching kinky porn. He told me that. I'm not invited and don't want to be. He is sad as well.
I will let go of the will thing. Just let it turn out however. I feel like I won't make it another year though.