Originally Posted by
JeffreyAK 
This caught my eye, and got me thinking - maybe you cause them yourself, by focusing too much on your weight and using that as an justification?
I had similar issues early on, I was eating normally for the first time in years, and I was too wiped out to exercise, so I gradually put on 25 pounds or so. I had to make deliberate mental decision that I was not going to care - I can work on the weight later, but I will not let considerations like that influence my commitment to not drink alcohol. Worked for me, I stayed sober and eventually took off most of the extra pounds, but it meant I was going to have to buy some new pants to wear for a while, and I'd just have to persevere knowing it was a temporary situation.
Oh....the amount of headspace I've devoted to my weight. My parents did a number on me there! Started me on diets at age 9. I don't think that's ever going away. Its sort of ingrained in me now. I lost 50 pounds from 2015 to 2017: went from a size 18 to a size 8. Now that I'm sober and my diet crutch is gone, I'm getting weirdly freaked out by seeing overweight people everywhere....as in, see they don't drink, so they are fat, maybe I am destined to be fat....women wanting to sponsor me in AA but they are fat, so I'm too freaked out to let them in. It's getting weirder and weirder.
. I have nothing against women who decide not to worry about their weight, more power to them. I myself am terrified to gain weight.
I just have to refuse to let it derail my sobriety. It's getting messy up there in my head, but I won't let it cause a relapse.