Archie12
do you like drinking ? it doesn't matter how much you drink, it's how much you like it, I loved it. The more I drank the more I 'loved' it, first beer is nice but nothing special, second beer starts to feel good, third beer is when the ball starts rolling , after ten and some bourbon the wheels are off and I don't care , right then .
Hated having to deal with the black out/ stupid/ dangerous stuff , but that third one , that's probably the best one, only of course if its the third in a longer line, a third beer and then done, that just pissed me off. Always drank like that , always did the stupid/dangerous stuff and lots of insidious consequences that weren't as apparent, loss of trust of loved ones, self esteem, probably some health issues building in the background, didn't matter I loved it, right? It changes after awhile almost suddenly , the hangovers become anxiety attacks, 'hair of the dog' is no longer a 'vacation' thing, hiding bottles ect ect, you kinda stop loving it, but that third one still does it.
I found SR and and learned AVRT , realized maybe it wasn't Me that loved it, realized I was just feeding a small part of me that had the rest of me convinced that black outs and hangovers were worth the third one, the one that gets the ball rolling real good. Longer story short, turned out I didn't love it, I just fooled myself into thinking that way, changed my mind and quit. Great threads on AVRT/RR herre on SR in the Secular Connections forum, if you really like drinking, I recommend checking them out.
wish you well and hope to see you around