Welcome! I hope you stick around for you and your kiddos!
Moderation: seems that won't work for you. You have already admitted that. Now admit you can't drink and work the steps. You will love your self more, actually knowing what you did at these events. You may have to take some time away from the "party" until you can go without drink in hand.
I am not sure how your wife feels when you do these things.. Maybe embarrassed, ashamed, hurt, etc... - I know I have done all that to my significant other.
Always having to apologize or face the next morning wondering what I did.
I am good with all that, meaning I never want that morning to happen again.
Best of luck, stick around, read others stories.
Soul search.