well, I am running a sort of parallel situation with ya. My husband is in detox right now. We've been married a zillion years. I definitely love him. He definitely loves me. Things got bad. It was his idea to go and I found him this crazy nice place accidentally. Was not my intent. I realized he needed a co-occurring diagnosis place and googled it, one thing led to another and the next thing we knew, I was booking a ticket across the county for 36 hours hence. He has been there about a week give or take.
The place is quite spiffy. I think it might be horrifically expensive. For whatever reason, our insurance covers 100% of it. Off he went. They take his cell phone for a period of time, 30 days I think. Works for me. There were a few bumps to work out but I think we mostly have that all handled, me and the dude that, for lack of a better term, "handles" me. He's very nice. Told me to contact him any time. I told him not to worry, that was unlikely. That's not my thing.
However, a thing not being my thing and then actually experiencing it are two different...things. But I still haven't needed to, so I haven't. Wanted to? Worried? Yes. Did not do it.
The 4 to 5 pm hour is full of anxiety for some reason. Noticed the pattern. Weird. Try to anticipate it and scrub things or go outside when it hits.
They sent me a book and a DVD. Read the book today. Ok. Makes a lot of sense. Eye opening. Revelatory. I do not have to be dragged down by his **** decisions. Excellent news that I should have realized.
Anyway, our kids are raised and flown from the nest. I imagine it is much much more difficult to be in your situation. So sorry.