I aided and abetted my AV for quite awhile. I had shunned 'recoveryism' for years, I was special, different , damaged yada yada ect ect. But I still harbored the idea that since I was purposely not involving myself 'in anything', I was cutting myself from a cure , which was really just the desire to continue masked.
I knew abstinence was
the cure, but did not separate from my AV , I accepted the idea that even though I knew quitting would put a full stop to my addiction, 'getting to' abstinence was some ephemeral path and consciously choosing to shun a, the way made justifying and rationalizing more drinking, all that much more easy. Sick , right ?
I did reach a breaking point and in a moment of clarity/desperation decided to do something, anything, something.
I found SR and learned about AVRT, learned it existed, got the RR TNC book and was thunderstruck. Couldn't believe what I was reading about unconditional, permanent abstinence and how the only thing keeping me from it, the only thing keeping me freeing myself from the slavish cycle was Me.
It wasn't debates on a forum, or lack thereof, just the steering direction and the self honesty to realize that I could do it, the only thing stopping Me was Me.
I'm grateful SR allowed me the opportunity to see the beacon. I understand that sites/forums are 'things' in the real world, they have owners and their use can be conditional, I'd probably hate my rules if I were master of the universe
, but that doesn't mean Sec Con isn't a beacon, rules and all, I'd consider myself proof