Originally Posted by
SaveHer 
1. ...they both confessed although they claim it wasn't premeditated. Insert dramatic eye roll here.
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2. AXBF's mother contacted me... She said she loves us and misses us.
3. I don't know... having been in a dysfunctional, abusive relationship for almost a decade.
1 - Waking up to both their tactics.
2 - Being sucked in.
3 - Confusion caused by #2... from emotional, verbal, psychological abuse, the brain wants to smooth things over... to appease... to please others before the priority of one's own health.
A healthy relationship can allow space for healing. A few months without any contact can open the mind and body into a safe zone of healing, into being ready to either be in contact or have more time without contact.
Before my experience first hand with this, I too would have thought continued contact would be best. That has changed completely after the great relief, recovery from anxiety and great amount of growth I've found simply by adding the one additional component of no contact. When I heard about it in these forums, I didn't realize what a beautiful gift it would be for me.
What I felt as love and flood of good emotions was trauma bonding. Recovery from it is progressing quickly with not having any contact with my mom or dad. They look and seem to be kind, loving and caring. That is all a show that works very well, in order for them to manipulate others.