honeypig

Nope, no man-flu, Vivi. One of the things that often stops folks, both the A and their partner/spouse/etc., from getting serious about recovery sooner is the comparison thing.

A's can tell many stories about how they weren't as bad as someone they heard share at an AA meeting or read about, and so they decided they weren't a real alcoholic and didn't need meetings/therapy/rehab/whatever.

We on the other side have our own "not as bad as" hangups--our A doesn't hit us, has a job, seems to love the kids, is really soooo sweet when sober, and on and on. Nope, we convince ourselves we don't need help either, b/c we are not as bad as X, Y or Z.

I read your post as if you are truly joking, so I don't want to seem too heavy-handed here, but I do want to make absolutely sure it's understood that you don't have to have a certain level of chaos, abuse, financial struggle, legal issues or anything else in order to be here or Alanon or anywhere else you might choose to get help. The Alanon site says you qualify if "your life has been affected by someone else's drinking." You do belong, and we're glad you came.