One Year
I've finally reached that hallowed date of one year of sobriety. It's been a rough ride, but not one without numerous rewards and joy.
I spoke to a friend last night, who I used to party hard with. He keeps trying and can't make it. He said that he was going to try again. I said that the word, try, is his problem. No trying. You have to make up your mind that you are [I]doing [/I ]it. No retreat, no surrender.
I went on to say that going on and off the booze almost makes it worse. Sure, breaks from it help the body, but the physical and emotional roller coaster is horrible. Moderation doesn't work either, at least for me. No, the monkey must be killed.
I tried AA and that was not for me. Call it white knuckle sobriety if you will, but my plan is simply this: DO NOT TAKE A DRINK. A flimsy plan, perhaps, but one that has worked.
What really did it for me is precisely what certain parties told me would not work. A new relationship. This woman I met has been my strength and my rock. I might not have made it without her. I know how badly it would hurt her if I relapsed.
With a year behind me, things are easier. My sleep is so much better. I went through the anxiety and jitters of insomnia. I slept like a rock for too long and shambled around like a zombie all day.
My thinking is clearer. I am more patient and compassionate.
I am physically so much healthier. I'm exercising and eating much, much better than I was.
I had a particularity bad drinking dream the other night, inspired I think by this anniversary. I felt sick and ashamed that I had slipped in the dream. I woke up so, so, relieved to be sober.
Life is too good. I am enjoying family, food, books, exercise...life. Things I had rejected when I was drunk.
I always thought that quitting was for other people. I would hear of individuals who were told that they had to stop drinking by their doctors. I felt that my life would be over if that happened. Of course the opposite is true.
Today I am going to take a hike in the morning coolness. I am going to a wedding this afternoon, and I won't be bothered one whit by the drinking that will surely be going on. Not tempted in the least. I will celebrate life and love with my new friends.
Thanks for listening, and God bless everyone.