Yeah, I do realize that. I am attending the weekly relationship therapy sessions at the rehab clinic, and I am reviewing the different linked after-care programmes they have for the rest of the family as well as for Mrs Sectus. Not sure yet which route I am going to take, but I am going to make sure the older kids at least try one out. They are in their mid twenties, so they will have to make their own decisions in that regard.
I have made it clear that if she goes back to drinking every few months, she can go and do that elsewhere. I could perhaps deal with more of this if it was just me, but I am not having it around the children anymore. I have already accepted far more than is healthy, and it is about time I started doing my damn job as a father in this respect. It would be heartbreaking for us and for the kids, but so is watching her drink herself to an early grave.
As for myself, I feel rather positive at the moment. Part of her therapy is listening to my experiences and those of the children, and then working through her reactions to it. It was good just to explain how hard it is to be the guy in charge of the drunk-tank for weeks first, only to have to change into being her therapist and chief cheer-leader right after. It is like someone hits you, and then expects you to feel sorry for and help tend their cracked knuckles, while almost no time is spent on your own broken nose.
I want to do more of that. And then I want her to tell me about the things I do to make her recovery more difficult. I want to build, and work, and I can just see that it might just, with a bit of luck and a lot of hard work, work out.