Great topic SC- I was just pondering this myself today! My exAH blames me for all of the problems he has. I also wonder how someone can be so down and not "get it". He feels I am to blame for him losing everything- the marriage, kids, house, etc. The alcoholic mind really is facinating. I have no clue of he is still drinking- many times I think he is but as a dry drunk he is still lost.
I also understand how you feel about your kids- mine are young as well and it kills me that he has ANY influence on them. He is such a bad role model and the only thing I can do is surround them with good, kind people that show them love, support and appropriate behaviors. The kicker for me is that my 4 y/o doen't really understand alcohol yet- thank god- so when she thinks of the bad times and her daddy drinking- she thinks he had too much water to drink!!! Someday she'll understand.