Thank you for your insightful post and for sharing your story. I read up a lot on trauma bonding when I couldn't understand why I had developed such a strong pull toward a man who was abusive and disrespectful to me. I still feel that very strong pull to him, but have taken the scary step of backing away and just riding through the emotional pain of not being with him. I often got the "why do you stay?" from others, even on this forum, and I couldn't tell you. I stayed even when my boundaries were crossed, even the ultimate ones. I would always say, if he cheats then I will definitely leave. And then he did over and over again and I couldn't leave. Someone on this forum once said, they were scared to see what my actual bottom was. I think I was scared too. Maybe it was physical abuse, which never occurred (only a small shove once when I tried to kick him out of the house). But I sometimes wonder if it had would I have still stayed. I don't think about that often, but sometimes it crosses my mind.