My children are 5,4,4. The oldest is a boy and he's the one that looks at his father as his role model. I have seen the hurt when daddy doesn't come to the football game that he dressed special just for daddy and daddy doesn't come because he got into a car accident because of drinking. Or waits for him all day only for daddy to visit and has to leave the house because he's staggering drunk and his daddy's only purpose was supposibly to come and see him.
Or scared to death that daddy is going to fall down and start yelling. I'm sure he's heard so many sorry's he doesn't believe them anymore. What possibly does "I love you" mean to this little guy by now? Everything daddy says doesn't come to pass. He doesn't understand that some of the times daddy is silly but never a serious parent. He knows "daddy is sick from alcohol". What do you say when my son see's his first shooting star and wishes that his daddy didn't drink alcohol and no one in the world would either? Anytime we are at church we pray for daddy to get better. Does my little son think God doesn't hear him? I can't put a band-aid on this boo boo. He's asked "why doesn't daddy just quit drinking alcohol and come home?:" I can't even answer that. I always tell him "daddy is trying his best to get better" I am completley lying to my son and this kills me. My hatred towards my husband stems from the way he's hurting this little boy who wants to be just like his daddy. He's crushing his hopes and dreams and prayers. Sorry to vent but I don't think my anger will ever leave. Maybe when I'm 90.