Originally Posted by
mickyc79 
I know what youre saying, i tend to agree...The only problem is it's a really close friend and we're invited all day, so theyve already paid for us to be there, and having married recently, i know how expensive it would have been for them to include us and exclude some of their other friends...also, the hotel is paid for and has a no refund policy.
I'm splitting hairs here arent I, surely letting down some friends and waving goodbye to a couple of hundred bucks for a hotel room is small change to what i could have with my wife instead.
Another thing is , both our families know we have this wedding coming up, her mum is watching the kids for us...they will want to see pics of us all dressed up. She'd rather her family didnt know about our problems as he mum was an alcoholic (albeit 12 years clean now) and doesnt want them worrying about her...especially her dad who will probably beat the crap out of me if he knows how i've treated his daughter recently.
what is more important? Letting your friend down who will probably forget you're not there after a while? Or letting your wife down, going to the wedding, drinking, getting drunk, getting abusive. Weddings are places where encounters notoriously take place and many couples split up. Can this be the final straw? Do you seriously think you will go to the wedding and NOT drink? your wife would be right to not believe your promises of quitting.
Or put your wife first. She has said she doens't want to go to the wedding. Listen to her, say you're not going either, you're putting her first, not drinking and staying home and having a nice weekend together.
Tell your friend you'ev got gastroentiritis or something tomorrow.
It really is ok to say no to people. put your wife first for once.