Micky...Glad you are here.
I have been down your path and it only gets worse. The broken promises take their toll. Trust me I know....i didn't understand why my wife, kids or anyone wouldn't believe me when I said this was it....well...they had historical data that proved otherwise.
I found that words are just words....I had to walk the walk and slowly the trust started coming back.
It was about my late thirtys when the issues started to raise their ugly head...I am now in my late 40's and sobriety has made all the difference in the world. It is worth it. One of the hardest things I had to do was admit I was an alcoholic...didnt know when the tide changed....but it did and I was no longer in control.
Make the leap....stay on here...read a lot...you will find a lot of similarities to your life and situation. I read posts daily that make me go....wth...that was me....that is why I continue to stay sober....Life is good
D