mickyc79

I found this forum after searching the internet for advice on my problem.

Sometimes when i drink (at weekends), i cant stop at a few beers, I go overboard and get really drunk. When my wife points this out to me (when im drunk) I get really defensive and angry and say the harshest of things to her. I always wake up feeling regret and shame.

I don't drink every day, but like an occasional beer through the week after work. But when i go out with friends or when at a party i always drink to excess.

Im 38 and have a loving wife and 2 young kids. I hold down a good job, which is stressful at times, but not overly. My home life is idylic and i couldnt ask for more from my wife and kids, but for some reason when i drink too much i become this angry, evil guy that im not any other time and cant relate to at all. Some of the things i say to my wife are things i dont feel at all when sober....some really cruel stuff that i wouldnt say to someone i hate, let alone the mother of my kids who i love with all my heart.

I went a couple of years there when i could control my drinking, and whenever i went out i could have just a few and go home early, lately though whenever i go to the pub i just get **** faced and usually cant remember what ive done until i wake up and my wife is so upset.

When she tells me what ive said to her i feel so ashamed and embarrassed. Its got the point now where my apologies and promises dont mean a thing to her anymore and fear i could lose her.

This is the last thing i want and i think i need help...anything else ive read about alcoholics says you know when you're one if the first thing you do when you wake up is crave a drink. I dont.

Whenever i have a night out lined up though, i cant wait to go out and my blinkers come on and its all i can think about.

Am i an alcohol abuser, or an addict? Can you pigeonhole it as simple as that?

Any advise would be great, i need it to save my marriage and my life.

Thanks