Hello everyone,
I am happy to now say that the fog has dissipated quite substantially. I literally woke up this past Saturday and I felt like I had my clarity back again. It was as if
a veil had been lifted from my eyes and I am finally beginning to see hope in everything now. My ability to think clearly and make sound judgments has improved significantly. My communication has improved a lot too, I no longer find it as hard to find the right words to say anymore, the words just flow very naturally now. Just when I thought I had lost my vocabulary I now realize it was always there, hidden somewhere in my mind. My brain just didn't allow me to access to it at the time. The fog is still however present but not nearly as debilitating as it was before.
I'm just so friggin happy that I finally have my mind back and I can become a productive member of society again. Of course I have to pay my respect firstly towards my higher power, the AA program and the fellowship that surrounds it. I have never had such overwhelming understanding and support from the members inside the rooms, this program has truly opened my eyes towards living a new spiritual existence and I am truly convinced that my higher power has helped restore me back to sanity.
Secondly to all the addicts that have offered their opinions on the Sober Recovery forum, you're encouraging responses and invaluable advice helped give me hope that I was not the only one experiencing the torment of PAWS. That there truly was light at the end of the tunnel. I really thought in all the midst of the debilitating confusion and depression I was experiencing that I had become permanently insane, that I would be mentally disabled and be a vegetable for the rest of my life. I remember feeling so hopeless at stages, having fleeting thoughts of wanting to use and suicide were evidently present. But I heeded everyone's advice, I trusted the others that were here before me. I bit the bullet and I pushed through. I exercised when it hurt, I changed my diet when it didn't suit me, I forced myself to socialize when I just wanted to be alone, I puzzled my way through brain games when I couldn't comprehend them, I tried to think less of myself and more about others, I prayed to God even when I thought He had abandoned me but most of all I had to learn to be patient. Time heals everything. For anyone that is still suffering from the post acute withdrawals that this horrible disease brings, you're not alone. Things will get better as long as you don't use. I am living proof that it will! The brain indeed can heal itself.
