I think some can hate themselves so much, nothing I repeat nothing else matters to them. My exA lost similiar things mentioned in Minnies post and then some, still won't quit drinking. I don't think my ex has the energy any longer to dig himself out ot the incredibly deep hole he is in. Last time we spoke (not so long ago) he sounded like a man defeated....mentioned he had a plan, a glimmer of a plan really but I didn't hear any ambition in his tone...just some more quacking. I think when the quacking stops, it is over for them....IMHO and his quacking is less and less....I hear your frustration....I hear your confusion, I too have felt those emotions...
Love, Patty