It does sound like a first step issue to me. If you know that alcoholics can't drink without dire consequences, then if you knew for sure you were alcoholic, then you would know for sure you couldn't drink. At least that's how it seems to me. Maybe a little first step work would help? Write down what your alcoholism took from you, times you tried to quit and couldn't, that sort of thing. Then talk it over with another AA.
Hugs to you, I hope you feel better!