In my marriage, it took leaving and staying gone for me to start really healing. It took my husband quite some time after that before he found sobriety. We still aren't living together... I need more time, more healing space, and I'm now okay with saying that. When I left, I stopped giving warnings, I had everything I absolutely thought I needed packed in the car... and when the time came I got in the car with my son and we didn't go back.... until my husband stopped drinking for a short time. Repeat. And then I finally really realized I wanted more for myself and our son... and then I knew I was done pretending things could somehow be okay. The drinking is just a symptom of the disease. I was finally ready to do whatever it took to not live with him.
We now have a much better relationship, living and working in different cities.