Originally Posted by
Tatsy 
Happy Friday to you too Jessicamae, we will be here if you want to ask any questions about AVRT, maybe for a Sponsee.
I used to be an AA member and worked the Steps a couple of times. It's about locus of control, I think. I never quite could wrap my brain cells around the belief that G-d would do for me, what I couldn't. Being raised a Catholic, I was indoctrinated in the belief that G-d gave me free will, certainly with regard to what I pick up and pour down my throat. I guess AVRT resonated with me, based upon my research into the mechanics of addiction and eventual understanding that my locus of control was inside myself (although perhaps G-d given as a creator?).
I am a spiritual person (not organised religion) and hope that there is a greater power than me. But I came to believe that power (if any - but certainly birth-right brain neurologically speaking) had instilled within me a sense of morality and a freedom of choice: and that's what I utilised when I made my Big Plan and learnt Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
I get a little bristly when people critique AVRT, so I understand that you feel defensive regarding AA. But I don't think that's a character defect, just a natural reaction to defend something that's worked for us; and if you're like me, wanting to spread the word and guide others.
Thanks for sharing that with me. Sometimes I think that now that I am sober and working a program I have to be almost perfect lol. I know it is not possible and that maybe I am too hard on myself. Also maybe because my 2 years is coming and sometimes I feel I should be further along...who know.
I am also spiritual and definetely do not define my higher power at the bible G_D. That was what I struggled with the most in starting my journey. I have a great sponsor and the first thing she said was G_D = Group of Drunks. She said do you believe that some of the people in the meetings believe there is a higher power working in their lives? I said absolutely I do, she said well that is the first step. Then the farther we got along she G_D= good orderly direction. I love that definition, basically do the next right thing and your life will change. About 6 months ago I stopped and looked at everything that had changed in my life and started crying because at that moment the only explanation I could come up with was a power greater than I had been working in my life. I tried for years to control this beast (I like that term) and I never could. Call it divine intervention but I believe the only way I am where I am today is because of the G_D of my understanding. I never prayed and never wanted to. Unless of course, they were the foxhole jail prayers. Now I wake up and try every day (sometimes I want to be stubborn and have a bad day) and thank G_D for waking up and then at the end thank for another day sober. It was extremely hard for me to get this concept and honestly I still struggle with it. I guess you could call what I have is faith and spirituality. I was the person who claimed to be an atheist and I LOVED telling Christians how wrong they were. I was a miserable and dark person.
Sorry, I am rambling, it is Friday and I am at work and have no one to talk to. Regardless of how you guys got sober, you are my people. I truly feel the best talking to others in recovery. Everyone else doesn't get me lol or my ego tells me they don't.