I remember discovering that when I'd quit drinking for a while, this "depression" would well up inside of me until, eventually, I'd drink again. It turns out my depression wasn't depression - it was untreated alcoholism. Ya see, when I stop drinking, alcoholism kicks into high gear and hurts to the point that I eventually drink again. The drinking is just the last phase. Funny thing though, the act of drinking treats my alcoholism - it makes me feel better (at least temporarily - kinda).
Hooking up with a solution to all that crap that "drives me to drink" when I'm dry.....that's recovery. Like is says in the AA Book "...main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem." It didn't take me long to discover that drinking, while a serious problem, was not THE problem - there was something deeper that caaaaaused the drinking.
And for the recovery police out there - I'm NOT saying people don't have real "clinical" depression. I am saying that depression and untreated alcoholism look amazingly similar. What I thought was depression for me, was in fact untreated alcoholism. Just like any 2 illnesses with different treatments, it's important to know which one one has.
