Nocellphone, I appreciate reading this post today as it's very pertinent to my life at the moment. I'm struggling right now with several challenges & frustrations & just trying to keep my focus on me. Some anger (some!) issues are coming up for me & I'm finding it very hard to access assistance.
I don't mind doing the hard work, but I think I've done about all I can do on my own - I'm at the point that I need a little guidance & can't really find it. So I'm now getting angry about that.
A couple of nights ago my partner & I were talking about AA (she's 16 years sober) & during the course of our conversation she said that I as an ACOA have the disease of alcoholism. It blew me away as I'd never before heard that particular little gem. After a while I think I understood better what she was trying to say, but I still couldn't really accept it.
I've always felt the "disease of alcoholism" was a thing perpetrated upon me & others like me, not a thing I "have." I tend to see statements like this as blaming or at the very least, a pawning-off of responsibility designed to soothe guilty consciences. That's the angry me feeling this way.
The rational me striving toward healing wants to better understand the concept & not make leaps of misunderstanding. So it's good & interesting that this topic of the "disease" of alcoholism has presented itself to me twice in as many days. When this happens it's always been something I'm being called upon to pay close attention to.
Pretty angry & frustrated right now - I can't even articulate much of what is swirling around my mind. I really wish there was an Al-Anon or ACOA meeting I could attend or someone I could talk to or cry & yell with, but at least I can be assured there are like a bazillion AA meetings close by.
When the sarcasm creeps in, it's time for me to shut up again. Lid's about to blow off the pressure cooker.
Anyway, thanks for the topic.