You have gotten some amazing advice and suggestions. I will tell you my light bulb moment.
I was sitting in an alanon meeting and a women told me she divorced her husband, who she loved. I'm like, why would you do that? She said because she didn't have to live with someone that she loved. She could love him from a distance.
Every one always wanted me to hate axh, which I just couldnt do, as a codie. So once someone told me this, that I could still love him, I had some peace about it. My life changed. I wasted 34 years of my life trying to make my husband into the man I felt he should be. I wish I understood back then that God has a plan for each of us and that my plan for him really didn't matter. Even if I was "right"!?!?!?
Step out of his way, take care of yourself and just maybe this will be his rock bottom, but probably not. Of course It will be everyone else's fault.... you, the person who called the cops, the cops, the lawyer... blah, blah. Keep reading and posting, it will slowly sink in.