it's the way I've always been and I can't stop myself
yes you can, you just need new tools. but as with anything, you have to WANT to change your behaviors.
being led by our emotions is exhausting and leads us into painful situations. it's like troops without a general. feelings are not facts, they are just feelings. they come and they go. we have a wide spectrum of emotions, but in our dysfunction can learn to cling to one or two. usually a HIGH and a LOW. and they feed off each other.
the trick is learning to not try to FIX how we feel. or STOP all feelings, go numb. how to live WITH our emotions, not IN them.