Families can be tough. Mine is- in a way- but being sober now, I have to deal with them and my perspective has (mostly) changed....I could share a lot of stories, advice, whatever, as I know others could - but the bottom line is I choose not to drink over anything or anyone. That's the only solution I have to viewing my mom and everyone else in a way that is good for ME.
I say this after JUST telling my fiance about a terrible dream I had last night- it was like a movie reel or compilation of the worst things my mom and I BOTH did while drinking and I am still very disturbed....we are supposed to have dinner with my parents tonight and I am seriously considering canceling. That's one way I deal with my parents (note- obviously I don't live with them anymore though I did- when still drinking!) .... it may not be what I choose tonight as I will process today then decide.
Take care, don't drink - and if you don't, perhaps seek out IRL support (mine is AA) now and I am confident you can learn how to "deal" with your family- relationships are one of the hardest things to change our approach to, involvement in etc- but we can.