BullDog777

In a word, Everything.

I was like you. I've been in and out for 20 years. I never managed any long term sobriety. At the end, I was in really bad shape. I had heart and kidney damage, diabetes, fluid in my abdomen, stroke level blood pressure, and my liver was in serious trouble.

My neighbor found me on the sidewalk, picked me up and I woke up in the hospital a week later. I was transported from one hospital to another in IC but have no memory of any of it except a flash in the ambulance.

I was in the hospital for over 4 months. The doctors gave me almost no chance.
I was a chronic alcoholic and had been detoxing in and out for years.

One of the things that really left me in shock was one of the doctors who stood at my bedside and told me in no uncertain terms "This is your last shot..
Your body won't survive another detox. "

So this is my last ride. My last chance..it's get sober or die.

I could list you a dozen reasons why I would be justified in drinking myself to death, but there really was only one choice to make. If I wanted to live, I had to make the choice and do whatever it took to stay that way.

So i simplified my life...One simple question carried the days. "Is this good or bad for my sobriety.?" If it was bad, it had to go. If I needed help, I asked for it. If there was something required of me, I did it.

I know what it's like to teeter on the verge of death, and believe me when I tell you that sobriety is the easier way to live.

Eighteen months later, I got a clean bill of health. All the damage had been undone. I worked my ass of to achieve that. There were a lot of messy, moody, anxiety filled days, but as time went on, my brain started to heal, that cloud of haze started to clear and I started living again. It's a beautiful thing if you can give it a good chance.

You just have to make the decision that you wanna be sober more than you want to be drunk.

I wish you good luck, If I can do it, anyone can.