Hi Wick and welcome to SR
this is a great community for support.. you can do this and you don't have to do this alone.
Is there anyone you can talk to about this face to face in your community? An addictions counselor, therapist, group support that you'd feel able to muster some courage to get yourself to?
One thing to keep in mind is you dont need to walk into a place stone cold sober to ask for help (just don't drive yourself) I know that kept me from getting help or going to meetings for a long time.
Have you any ideas in mind of things you're willing to try and you think would help?