Thank you all so much for the help and support. I plan on staying active on these boards so help get me through recovery. I've been wanting to quit for so long. I've been kidding myself saying that I'm "doing better" just because I haven't had vodka in 3 months. I kept thinking "well a few beers is better" last week I was at Disneyland with my husband and kids. I bought one beer, then another, then more.. before I knew it I was 5 beers drunk at DISNEYLAND of all places, I was so embarrassed. My oldest is now 6 and is starting to notice when mommy drinks or is drunk. This has to stop, for me and my family. I grew up a alcoholic father.. I don't want my kids growing up that way.