Because I want to live a new life.
Alcohol literally and figuratively held me down. The early days are hard. No doubt about it; I had all the thoughts you're having. But it will get better, the fog will lift, and you will begin to see how you can begin to change.
Remember that last line thought: you can begin to change. It takes work, and you do have to change your life. However, it's very much worth it to do so.