If you've posted about any recovery programs you are using besides Sober Recovery, I didn't see it. So, the first suggestion that comes to mind is more help. Rational Recovery is an option. But that's done on one's own, like SR. If doing it on your own is a struggle, and it seems like it is, then face to face support might give you that boost you need. A lot of people balk at the suggestion of AA, but you seem sick of being the person you've become. Time to consider what you might have rejected before.