Things going badly, need help.
I made it to 31 days and lapsed on my birthday. I did another week and a bit sober then went on a lovely holiday, where I drank on 2 evenings. The first I got drunk, the second I just had a couple. I didnt intend to drink on holiday but i saw other people having a drink and i just desperately wanted to be normal like them. I got home friday and just felt the urge and gave into av and got a few beers on the evening. This turned into me going out after midnight to my neighbours and getting absolutely wasted on a mega binge resulting in me coming home at 6pm on saturday. I am still hungover and coming down, feel absolutely devastated and dreadful. This is not who I want to be. I am not this person. Its time to find my strength again and get back on the horse. I feel lost, ashamed and like I dont know what to do.