Can't Stop Drinking for the Life of Me :(
I was in Detox for a little bit, got out and drank 3 days after. I felt so happy and healthy when I got out, but I was somehow compelled to start back up again. Now drinking is an everyday thing. I called in sick last night because I drank too much after I woke up too early for work. I don't want to go to another detox center and worry about medical payments though.
I realize that I am slowly killing myself.
I woke up passed out on the bathroom floor and finding that I drank almost the whole bottle of vodka and not having any memory of it. I find that I black out often.
I wake up very hungry (dehydrated too) but feeling sick from the thought of food on top of having to go to work after I wake up. When I have to work, I'll take a couple drinks (airplane vodka bottles) and stop to get coffee and food, then I go to work. I would also drink during my breaks often. This has been going on for many months. I work night shift. I am also afraid that I will lose my job soon or even tonight.
I really want to stop and get better, but it's hard. I feel very sick if I stop cold. But if I try to limit myself, I end up getting more.
This is my first post and I just wanted to hear others' thoughts about how they combat temptation and what not, because I'm not doing so well at it. I'd appreciate any feedback. Thank you!