Yeth, Cristina. I agree. I took some positive risks today..accepting a ride to a meeting with someone I know, but not well for example. I shared @ this meeting it seems as if my emotional and cognisant maturity is like the shock I faced after my burns. Numb- fight for life. Then pain. Now with safety I am going from survival mode- hypervigilance, to facing very dark feelings..deep feelings that haunt me awake and asleep. I do so with enough courage to know what to do....but sometimes I cannot work out WHY I feel 'confused' as to new emotions. Is it the real me...PTSD- or paranoia? I will just keep moving forward and doing everything I have been told to do...trusting in the wisdom of others with the knowledge of the why's.
It sucks.