Another thing I have noticed in your posts, Smarie, is that you have a habit of ascribing intent to your ABF, or often providing what he's thinking when he does things that are blatantly disrespectful or immature. Filling in the blanks.
This is familiar to me. I used to ascribe intent to everything negative my XABF did so I could avoid looking just at his actions and how they made me feel. On some level -- while I was telling myself that I was being compassionate and understanding in regards to his bad behavior -- this was just a means of making excuses for him and letting him off the hook for his abuse.
But sometimes, bad behavior is just bad behavior. Manipulation is just manipulation, and it doesn't matter why or what he was thinking. Accepting that was what eventually got me out of a circling-the-drain situation with my XABF.
It's exciting to hear that you stood your ground this time! And that your new job is providing you with a new basis for confidence and growth.
I hope your mother is okay!!