Thank you everyone... these responses are so helpful and encouraging... you're right, I have to remember how he treated me aside from the drinking. The reason I gave him another chance was because I blamed him treating me poorly due to him be intoxicated.... but I learned that he treats me bad even when he is sober sometimes even worse! It's like if he can't control me and have me 24/7 he becomes a beast and can easily change into being the sweetest, loving, affectionate person as soon as he gets what he wants. We also always talked about getting engaged in the near future but I asked him to slow down with that after my family found out his addictions and he began to pressure me these past two months about getting married in city hall and his family tried to bribe me with assets of theirs... looking back I feel like those were red flags for me to take over the problem they've been dealing with for a very long time.