Pathwaytofree, thanks! I was trying to find a quote to respond to, but just everything you wrote is awesome. I never thought to just stop and take a break from the steps when I'm feeling suicidal. I'm definitely going to do that now.
Also, I'm 100% going to be writing 'God please help me to see the truth' on the top of all of my pages. I've noticed that while writing the 4th step, I've started to feel sorry for myself and I hate that. I start feeling disconnected from God when I start thinking that way.
I've been trying to keep column 2 very brief, so as not to bring up all the emotions, but I think I still dwell on them in my head. I'm going to try to be more factual and detached when I write them.
I used to see a therapist, but stopped when I started working because her hours were only during the day. I was reminded of an outpatient program my insurance has however, that is in the evenings. So I made an appt to see them today so I can get enrolled.
