Thank you everyone for responding. Although I have only discovered this website yesterday, I already feel the support from all of you. Unfortunately, I can't talk to my family/friends about this because they are just so thankful that I am not with him. It's hard to express my feelings to them and to open up because they immediately become defensive and scared that I will go back to him.... those are not my intentions but I do need this time to grieve because I really loved him and saw a future.
Since the break up he has gone back and forth between saying sweet things such as "I lost the best thing that ever happened to me" to mean things such as, "I deserve better than you, you left me when I needed you and you just walked out." He is also turning it around by saying that he had to cut me out of his life because he saw that I wasn't there for him when he needed me. Now he is acting like the stronger one by blocking me on social media. I won't respond to it or react because I think that's why he's doing it.... has this happened to anyone? Does he really believe that I did not stand by him after all of the things I did? Or is that his way of justifying his issues that he knows he has deep down?