There is nothing wrong with you wanting a mate who shares your interests, prioritizes the same things you do, and respects your how her actions make you feel, but it doesn't sound like she is capable of being that mate for you right now. It's possible she never will be. Only you can decide how long you want to keep trying "get through to her."
Personally, I learned the long and hard way there were no magic words to get people to change to suit how I wanted them to be. I got on much better when I learned to accept people exactly as they were, and to not allow my comfort or happiness to depend on other people changing.