thank you everyone.
I wanted to give you a little more info on what I'm dealing with.
She feels it's ok to go "have a drink" whenever she wants, while me
and/or her kids are sitting at home.
She knows that I grew up in an abusive household with an alcoholic father that would beat my mother. I would sit up with her as a child while she waited for him to come home. I've told her that her doing that brings back such anxiety and bad memories back and I've asked her to please understand what that does to me, and to the kids I'm sure. The kids had to deal with her DUI's and jail time before I came in to the picture.
Maybe not everyone feels like I do. But I don't think sitting at a bar drinking is a place for someone who has a family sitting at home. I guess my childhood has put those beliefs in me.
Of course it doesn't seem to matter to her.
When she mentioned I've ruined her social life, I even said, well, then let's do something about it. Let's do more with the kids, let's vacation, let's get healthy together, exercise, go to church together. Have friends and family over.(which we rarely do, she says it causes her stress). A lot of family has been a little alienated.
Sorry to ramble, my brain is scrambled