Gottalife

Hi Gregslo,
I was certainly powerless over alcohol in every respect. I relate exactly when the big book talks about being powerless over the first drink.

I have also seen the progression you talk about, even in dry spells. Alcoholism seems to progress even when we are not drinking. When guys like me drink, who have been sober a long time, it is like we never stopped, which is why most of us never make it back. A scary thought.

It was important for me to recognize that powerlessness. That was the main reason for me to seek a power greater than myself to solve the problem. Lack of power was my dilemma.

The big book emphasizes this over and over. "The alcoholic at certain times has no effective defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power"

Being alcoholic, I thought for a time that I would be one of the rare cases. Don't we love to be different? But no, I am just the standard real alcoholic as described in the book and my defense had to come from a Higher Power. That was what the steps were for, to make the connection, and it worked.

Today I have all the power I need to stay away from the fatal first drink. It is just not my power. Meetings do not bring this about, only action on the steps as a way of life.

I hope you can find a sponsor and get going on those steps. You will find you re only a few steps away from permanent recovery.