Originally Posted by
gd35479 
Today is my fortieth birthday and feeling lonely and unmotivated. Luckily, I have my wife and young children for support. I can't seem to stop thinking about the days when I could drink a couple of glasses of wine with my wife and beer with my friends. Some days are harder than others. Not to mention that I have been Xanax free for about a month, which has it's own protracted withdrawals. I was prescribed Xanax to help with anxiety while in recovery. Ironically, I switched one addiction for another. Anyways, this is tough and lonely road . Its great to have sites like this in addition to AA.
Hi and welcome and Happy Birthday!!
We are glad you are here!
I am sorry you are feeling sad and lonely, especially today.
It sounds like a lot of it is coming from missing alcohol. I urge you to challenge those wistful feelings.. You are mourning that you can't have "a few" glasses of wine, "some" beer with your friends, and, in a way, sounds like, even the Xanax too. But if you're honest with yourself, if probably would've been a WHOLE lot more than just "a few" glasses of wine, or even "just a beer" with the guys. If it were me, I know it would be more like a whole bottle and then some.
You actually have so much to be hopeful and excited about! Wow, you are ONLY 40. You are young.. and have so much life yet to live.. and now you can live it fully! So much to be gained, energy to reclaim, adventures to have without the dulling, poisoning damage of alcohol. The addiction is telling you that it's a "treat", a "pleasure", something you should be sad to "give up" .. but if you are honest, you know it's been hurting you in every possible way, if you've been trying to quit so many times.
I get the feeling.. but I urge you to tell yourself it's a lie. If you keep on drinking, the amounts and consequences WILL increase. Choosing a healthier path now will give you a chance of full life in your 40s, not waking up every morning with regrets, getting older before your time.
So glad you are here.. Keep posting. There are so many wise and helpful people here who have been down the same road.
If you've done 6 months before, you can do it again, and then some.
Enjoy the rest of your birthday!!
