Welcome to SR, KVP!!!
You've found a great place for support here, in dealing with addiction. My son is the heroin addict in my life; many others have loved ones in the same boat.
You said you think you're codependent? It does sound it, from what you've written. Please get Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie. It will help you see what you're doing that is unhealthy, and help you make better choices. Read the stickys on the top of the forum, too. They are filled with important information. Especially the one titled "What Addicts Do."
Please do not send your friend money. Her mom is right. She will only use with it. That's enabling her. We codependents have to be very careful. It's easy for us to get caught up in the drama, and enable our loved ones right into the grave. You do not have to explain why - if she asks. "No" is a complete sentence. But, if you feel the need to elaborate, tell her you love her enough to say "no."
Congratulations on getting out of that scene! And thank you for being of service to our country! You sound like a very special guy who cares about your friend very much. I hope she knows how very lucky she is.
Stick around and post as much as you'd like. We're here, and we care.
Shalom!