FC, Two weapons of alcoholics are creating anger and arousing anxiety (It says on alanon pamphlet). My AH whether drunk or sober have always tried to get a reaction from me. During my pre-alanon days, I would get in arguments with him and at the end it left me feel worthless and I ended up apologizing to him, desperate for his approval. Looking back at that, it was a crazy time.
Now, I don't play his game and it frustrated him because he knows he is losing his grip/control on me. So, walk away.... You are not insane. You just living in an insane relationship. My AH latest game is trying to convince me that I am the one with a problem (insane) to shift the focus of his drinking problem. Two nights ago at a party, he made a big deal in front of his friends that he has to take me home early because he is convinced that I am going to get drunk and humilite him in front of his boss (the party was at his boss' house). Mind you, I only had one very weak watered down margarita that I slowly sip in the course of 3 hrs. He humiliated me in front of his friends by giving them the impression that I am the crazy one that he needed to take me home early and that I had spoiled his night. By the grace of God, I stayed calm and not reacting to his paranoid insanity. He sure left the party early with me only to left one hour later to go downtown to drink. That episode in downtown left him with a cut on his forehead (got in fight with stranger and got hit with a bottle) and lost our $500 digital camera that we bought last year.
Hang in there FC, this too shall pass and easy does it.