Maizemae-
I don't know even many years after the fact that my husband was physically addicted to alcohol. He drank daily, mostly in moderation but ever few months would have a bender that would lead to problems.
However I do know that every time he drank I got a pit in the middle of my stomach. I know I walked on eggshells to make everything perfect so he would not feel the need to drink. I know that the consequences of those benders were scary to me. I know he apologized but the truth of the matter is that what he said without a change in behavior did not mean that the problem was done.
He said similar things to your husband. Do you know how common it is when an addiction is being challenged for the person living with the problem to want to pawn it off on something else (or someone). It was finally when I started to get support that I realized how often a loved one was "blamed" for the problem drinking. In my case it was because I was too sensitive to it.