Originally Posted by
Maziemae 
But last week he had a couple beers on the way to work, and he was edgy(alcohol makes him edgy) and got into a huge argument with his bosses. He blamed drinking on the way to work on me, because he isn't allowed to drink, he has to sneak it.
Two parts to my reply here: First of all, the quote above jumped out at me. Do you, or most people you know, drink before work? Does your job, or the jobs of most people you know, allow employees to show up under the influence of alcohol? In my life, the answer is a resounding NO to both questions. This behavior on his part is a big red flag, I feel. People who do NOT have a problem w/alcohol don't drink on the way to work, period.
The second part is what Sparklekitty said. If YOU are unhappy w/how things are and HE is not, then the one who needs to change things is YOU. Unfortunately, as you're beginning to see, the one thing you
cannot change is him. Only he can do that, and he sees no need to.
So where does that leave you? Well, with changing the things you CAN change, which is going to be all about you. You know that saying "If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got"? It totally applies here. I know, it seems unfair that YOU have to do the work when it's HIS problem, right? That's very much how I felt in the beginning too. Fair or not, it's the way it works--and once I came to grips w/that and started doing the work on myself, my world began to change in ways I'd never even thought about.
Hope you can take some time and read around the forum. I'd also like to suggest Alanon for some f2f support.
Keep reading, keep posting, and get to Alanon!